A Total Loss

Last 2 weeks I dropped by at Bagan Serai Mosque for Maghrib prayer.

I was on my way back from Tanjung Piandang fetching up students from Chess Tournament.

If I just made my way home straight away, I might perform Maghrib very late.

So I decided to stop.

And I reached mosque by the time of azan, so I got chance to solat berjemaah.

Tears ran down throughout my solat, zikr and du'a.

I felt like Allah came nearer to me, giving all His love and tender.

And this is what I sought for so long.

I'd lost my own soul.

Lost in never-ending worldly business.

And that is a total loss of myself.

I missed to perform solat berjemaah frequently like I did with my friends during my study time.

I missed to attend usrah.

I missed to pray to Allah with my whole heart submitting only to Him.

I missed to memorize my favourite Surahs in al-Quran.

Ya Allah

I feel like I am the most useless person.

How far this world has dragged me far away from You.

Please bring me back Ya Allah

Give me strength to restructure my life back

I really need Your guidance